I MADE IT! One year later and tayyebazeb.com is still here, you are still reading and I am evidently, still typing gibberish on the internet.

So this week marked my Blogiversary! A year ago I hit POST on my blog and sat waiting nervously in hope someone would read it… and believe it or not – I still do this every time I post! As I won’t get this moment again, I felt it was the right time to reflect on the past year, what I have learnt, some successes and what I hope to achieve in the year to come!

My favourite blog posts:

For me, the writing of posts is my favourite bit – I hate putting the pictures in and editing things as it all gets a bit confusing (and I ain’t that tech savvy). I would say there are a handful of posts which I really did enjoy writing as they either evoked a lot of emotion or just made me happy and these were reflected by the response I got to them!

After losing so many people in the last few years in my life – I knew I wanted to share my story of loss. When I wrote this, I remember getting teary at times and it was hard! It was made so so worth it though by the response I got! Y’all were crying with me.

Ahhh the sweet moments you forget about when you’re stressing over planning a wedding. One of the best moments of my life and when I was writing this – I was literally smiling from ear to ear. I cannot start wedding blogging more!!

The cattiest piece of writing I have done and YOU ALL LOVED IT. Haha, when my family read it they were like Tayyeba it’s just a big rant and I was like AND?! But every single person that messaged me just GOT IT and it made me happy! Probably one of my most read posts (maybe it was all those old friends aha…).

So I am an organised freak (well I try to be!) so I just really enjoyed sharing how I organise my finances and how you could really control your spending! Hoping to do more of this going forward!

This one was a great reflection for myself. Some great, great advice in this one and after writing it, I felt like such a wise owl!

Lessons learned…

I would say the biggest thing I learnt was blogging is bloody hard. Haha! It took me so long to actually pluck up the courage to start blogging because I knew it would be a big commitment but boy I did not know the half of it! It may just seem like some writing and pictures but the amount of posts which needed further editing because of coding glitches or times when I was panicking because there was just too much that needed to be done to complete a post. I completely respect people that do this as a full time job because the time/effort/energy it takes to produce good content that people want to read is hard!

Another thing I really had to master was knowing when to stop. And boy was this hard. My biggest fear when starting my blog was that I wouldn’t keep up with it and no joke – through some of the most stressful months of my life, I would blog consistently but find no joy from it – as it just became a focus. In Ramadan this year I took a massive step back and became more relaxed about it all. It was hard and I felt partly like I had failed but I had to put myself first.

I am working two jobs, planning a wedding, looking for a house, have a big family, trying to see my friends, go to the gym when I can and honestly blogging fornightly too – was just too much – and something had to give. I need my friends for my sanity this year more than ever, need to do all the others so I have become okay with just being more relaxed with my content for now. I still try and post at least once a month where possible but taking the pictures and editing content is VERY time consuming. I have finally come to peace with knowing that until my wedding in April – I won’t be posting fortnightly like I planned but I am very much still here and I am so proud that I stuck it out despite a tough year! SO YAY ME!

What’s to come…

So I think one thing I have realised is my posts on wellbeing/real life talk get the most views and feedback and tbh, they’re my favourite to write. I think going in to the next year especially, I am wanting to do more wellbeing/mental health style posts and want this to be a big focus for the blog.

I am also hoping to blog more wedding related things in the next few months! I am going to Pakistan in a couple of weeks to wedding shop and cannot wait to take you guys along with me! Following this all the wedding shenanigans will properly begin so hopefully I will document as much as possible, alongside some advice and things I have learnt!

I also want to experiment much more behind the camera! I have taken a few flat lays over this year which I have been proud of but I am looking forward to getting my own home where I can put more time in to experimenting with different props/decor etc. in my own space without getting in the way of others! I am definitely wanting to get better with flat lays and photography!


And lastly, I just want to continue more than anything. I want to keep tayyebazeb.com alive and after all the crazy of the wedding, give myself a proper chance to get in to the blogging world!

And lastly…
you guys! I never comprehended that I would receive the feedback I have. I have had the sweetest messages from people telling me how much my posts have helped them overcome difficulties, as well as sharing their own experiences with me, which is my personal fave! I genuinely can say it is you guys that have constantly read or messaged me that have kept me going. Thank you so much for your continuous support and love and for keeping this part time hobby worthwhile!

Here’s to another year of blogging! <3

I hope you’ve all enjoyed my content in this past year and if you have any suggestions on what I can do with the blogging year coming, please do let me know!

Tayybs xxx

Self love is one of the simplest ways to be happy – period.

If you love yourself – you suddenly have less tolerance to anything which threatens that love. When you love yourself, the confidence that comes with this draws people towards you. If you love yourself – you will show others which kind of love you deserve and in turn, you will receive only the love you feel you deserve from others. Loving yourself is just so damn important and it needs to be encouraged more.

We are our own worst critics and can really put ourselves down easily. For this reason, loving yourself is much harder than it seems – but when practiced often, it becomes second nature and becomes key to our well being.

Don’t get me wrong – I sure as hell don’t love myself as much as I should. I put myself down – don’t think I do things well – doubt myself and compare myself to others sometimes – but ultimately I have gotten much better at patting myself on the back when I do do things well and telling myself that I am actually quite good at some things. Working in the field I do has taught me that being kind to yourself is really important and below I am going to share some of the most simple, yet effective ways to start loving yourself more.

1. Let go of the things that hurt you.

This was something I did a whole post about because essentially, what you let in and allow is what will continue and what you let go of – will ultimately start to show you what you deserve, helping you feel worthy of great things!

2. ME TIME!

Oh SO IMPORTANT! (I know I say everything is important but IT IS!!) Give yourself time every single day to do what makes YOU happy. Whether it be going to the gym, meditating, yoga, HAVING A CUP OF TEA WITH YOUR FAVOURITE SERIES ON (This ones mine!!) – just do it! Don’t feel guilty for wanting your own time. I have gotten much better at saying no to others when I want my own time – especially my friends and family. I know every night I need that time to myself to unwind and it really does contribute to my well being.

3. Challenge your negative self talk.

If you’re someone who puts themselves down often – ask yourself – am I right in thinking this? What would I say to a friend if he/she said this to me? Is it worth thinking like this about myself? What is the evidence against this thought? Catch unhelpful thoughts and sometimes – allow them to just pass. What you give your attention to can consume you.

4. Distance yourself from people who threaten your joy.

Remove toxic people from your life or just distance yourself – simple. I had so many people who felt the need to have an opinion on me when I was growing up and I can definitely say when I started to get rid of these people – I started to learn how to love myself better.

5. Make goals for your life and work on them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Okay maybe not every day – because that’s just unrealistic but have a purpose and set some goals. What do you want to achieve? How will you get there? What do you need to do? DO IT. Seeing yourself achieve all the things you are dreaming of/working for will only increase your faith in yourself and confidence! These goals can be small or big, but ask yourself, are you living the life you want? If the answer is no – how will you get there?

6. Try hard not to compare yourself to others.

So that person is pretty or seems to have it all worked out – so will you – in your own time. I once read this quote I found so useful – “Stop comparing your chapter 1 to someone elses chapter 15.” So so true – when I started blogging I would compare my blog to people who had been doing it for years and feel disheartened but how could I when i’m not even in the same place as them? Stop looking out and look in – look on how you can get there or do better and you’ll feel so much more motivated and less self conscious about yourself and your abilities.

7. Forgive yourself.

Learn to let go of anything you have done that you may feel bad about or feel you should not have done. Maybe a failed relationship, argument or difficult situation. Punishing yourself over something you no longer can change will only make you feel worse and in turn, make you really dislike yourself. You’re human, not perfect and it’s okay that you did what you did. It’s life and the sooner you learn to move on from it, the closer you are to being kinder to yourself and loving yourself more.

8. Invest in fulfilling relationships.

Spend more time with people that make you feel good about yourself – simple. Guys my confidence has been at an all time low in the past and honestly now – although i’m the same person, I feel so good about myself because I have people cheering me on – and they’re the type of people you need.  I spend time with people I love and people that genuinely love me, with no hidden agendas. People  that support me through the good and bad and always make time to show me I am great – as are you. Find your team and do not let go.

9. Invest time in doing what you love.

Do you have a hobby or something that really makes you feel good? Do more of it. Sometimes when we get busy with life, we can withdraw and stop doing the things we used to love, simply because we feel we don’t have time – MAKE TIME. I started blogging and really loved it – I  took some time out which was needed but then I realised, the more time I took out, the easier it was not to get back in to it – and I clearly remember, it made  me feel worse as at one point, blogging did give me a great purpose to keep achieving something regularly. Do what you love and you will start loving yourself more – guaranteed. Invest time in YOU.

10. Keep a folder of compliments and regularly revisit these.

This may sound a bit weird but at work I have a folder of all the great feedback  I have received and in my phone I have a folder of feedback on my blog. When I stopped blogging it was looking back at these comments/messages which made me feel good about myself and made me want to start again. It’s sometimes so surprisingly uplifting to see the positives others have said about you as we usually can be quite negative about ourselves but seeing how we may have impacted others can be really motivating to keep going.

11. Do something good for others.

One way you can really love yourself is when you see the good you do for others. It’s a bit strange that it takes doing something for someone else to make you feel good – but inevitably it does. If you see that you’re caring or respectful and sensitive to others needs, you can really become kinder to yourself and see yourself for just how good you are. What action will you do this week to be good to another?

12. Read fiction books.

I won’t lie – I stole this one from something I saw online but felt it was so fitting. I recently have gotten in to reading before bed – even for 10 minutes if I can and honestly, getting away from the noise, your phone, the day, your thoughts and just imagining whatever you’re reading in this book can be incredibly satisfying and really help you feel more in tune with yourself. If you don’t read – take just 10 minutes to really get lost in a moment of your own – without your phone or anyone else around every night before bed.

13. Care as much about yourself as you do others.

You deserve the love you so freely give out so make sure you give yourself it too and take care of yourself, so you never have to rely on someone else to. Remember, it is not selfish – it is necessary.

14. If you’re not happy with something about yourself – change it.

If you’re not happy with your weight, try to lose it. If you have skin problems, go to a dermatologist and see if they can help you. I have talked about my insecurities about my teeth before on here and honestly – getting braces changed my life, simply because it made me feel better about myself. Don’t get me wrong – I equally think accepting flaws and things we can’t change is just as important but if you want something to change and have the capacity to do it – why not? Invest the money, time and effort in to yourself, instead of everything else.

15. Learn to say NO to others.

Assertiveness is something I have yet to master but I can definitely say – the more assertive I have been, the more self love and self respect I have practiced. Learn to say NO to people that push your boundaries or to things which make you feel overwhelmed. It is so hard to do this when you always want to please people but by saying no, you’re protecting yourself.

16. Learn to be more grateful.

Recently a friend said to me that she has started to replace all her “I have to” sentences with “I get to”. Such a simple shift in thinking but I can really see how powerful this could be. So rather than thinking “I have to get up for work”, how about changing it to “I get to get up for work.” or “I have to make dinner tonight” to “I get to make dinner”, similarly, “I have to finish my coursework”, maybe “I get to do coursework” – you get my drift. This helps us see daily that actually, no matter what we are going through – we are still blessed with things others yearn for. There is always someone worse off than you – never forget this.

So there you have it – my simple steps to loving yourself more. I am sure if I sat here for longer we could make an endless list of things you can do to love yourself more but I guess we can all start somewhere.

What things do you do for yourself? How do you practise self love? Do you love yourself enough? Let me know below as I would love to take on some more ideas!

As always, thank you for reading and catch you soon!<3

Hello everybody!

I hope you’re all well and still enjoying the heat we are experiencing in SEPTEMBER (can this never end please?).

So today I am talking about letting go. Ah, such an important part of growth and development in our lives. I have no idea why I wanted to write about this in particular but I guess I have personally found how liberating letting go can be and at times, I feel people can be too scared to let go due to the fear of the unknown. For this reason, I am hoping this post may inspire you if you feel stuck in a situation of any kind that you’re finding difficult to let go of or even if you’re not in this situation, just stay with me – it’s been a while…

Why is it so hard to let go?

It’s simple – humans are creatures of habit. Anything we get used to gives us that feeling of comfort and safety – whether it be a job, relationship, friendship or our environment. A lot of the time when we are safe – we end up finding it difficult to let go. Working as a therapist – I can genuinely say AT LEAST half of the people who come to see me usually have something really unpleasant in their life – I like to call it a stressor. Whether it be a difficult partner, boss at work or family member that repeatedly puts them down – and the very obvious thing you’d think is – MAYBE LET IT GO? Leave the difficult job, get out of a shitty situation or stand up to a difficult person? But I guess when we feel that sense of security somewhere, we become too comfortable and are too scared of what could happen if we didn’t have that thing we are used to around.

People don’t want to leave a difficult job, because they feel they won’t find something better. People don’t leave that destructive relationship, because they feel they’re not worthy of a good relationship. People stay stuck in situations because usually, it can hurt but feel comfortable – compared to the risk of not having it, as it is all we have ever known. The one thing I am here to say which is so so important – LET IT GO. If something makes you sad – it’s simple, let it go. I completely appreciate it is easier said than done but I promise you knowing there IS/WILL BE something better on the other side will give you the courage to take that first step.

If you hate your job – how much worse can it be somewhere new? If you hate how you feel with someone – who says it can’t be better with someone else? If someone has wronged you – how much better may it feel being free of that person?

When did it become easier for me to let go?

As I said earlier, I’ve found a lot of the time – letting go can be very liberating. I read this quote once, which I mentioned in my post about the best advice I had gotten and honestly it completely changed my outlook on things.

“When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up.” -Prophet Muhammad PBUH.

It is such a simple saying but boy how true? If something ever gives you that feeling of discomfort, sadness or anxiety – why allow it to still be around? Why allow the little time we have here be defined by something which is disturbing your peace of mind so much?

It is THAT damn simple – you get one life (well this type anyway), why make it hard? And honestly from this, it made it so much easier for me to let go of anything that brought discomfort to my life. Anything at all that threatened my joy – because no one or no situation should make you feel that way. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not as simple as that always – but if you put yourself and your feelings first, letting go of anything that disturbs your inner peace becomes second nature.

Now depending on what you’re letting go of, it’s hard and can be difficult – it can feel unfamiliar and scary, but honestly – the more trust you put in yourself and knowing it can get better, the easier it gets to deal with.

When should we let go?

Of course we can’t just start letting go of anything that slightly annoys us (boy do I wish we could aha). The biggest question I ask anyone when they’re in a difficult situation is how much is this behaviour/person/situation helping or hindering you? I guess that is the main thing you need to ask yourself – how much is this situation contributing to your values, happiness, future, plans, dreams? How much is it getting in the way? How much is it affecting you? Is it worth the impact it is having on you?

If you can answer these questions – it may make you decide whether it is time to take the plunge and let go, or stick in their a little longer 🙂

What if you can’t let go?

There are some situations where letting go may not be an option – say like – a difficult job which you cannot leave for whatever reason or a marriage where kids are involved so it’s not as easy to pack up and leave. I guess in these situations I would do two things depending on the situation – if it is something which needs to be solved (such as a marriage problem between two people or the way you’re being treated at work) – set out steps to solving it – avoidance or ignorance is not going to make it better unfortunately. Face up to the fear of whatever you need to do – seek support from friends – seek support from professionals if needed – try to solve it IF YOU CAN.

Sometimes though, when the problem is not as straight forward as being solved – I feel distance is key. Distance for me is a lesser version of letting go. Just distance yourself from the situations that again, disturb that peace in your heart. You can still be involved in the situation or partake in it, but you get to decide how much – it’s on your terms and sometimes that sense of control, can really help in managing your distress and feelings.

It takes courage!

One thing I will say is it will be difficult, it may hurt and it will feel hella weird – but honestly, what is on the other side is often so much more beautiful than the place you’re in right now.

I have NEVER genuinely met someone that has let go of a bad situation which is hindering their growth and regretted it – never ever. In the short term, it’s going to be difficult but in the long term, the outcome can be beautiful. A few things I would advise is:
– Take your time with it and expect it to hurt/be difficult
– Before you let go, predict what may be difficult and what you can do to manage the distress
– Also, predict what could be positive about letting go (this will keep you motivated)
– Keep yourself busy
– Make goals for yourself and what you want to achieve
– If you are going through a rough patch, always try to remind yourself of why you let go
– Speak to people – the most underrated one – speak to people, tell them how you feel – trust me it can be a game changer.

I have a post coming real soon all about loving yourself, this will definitely help with letting go. Also have a look at my post about the best advice I have gotten – a lot of this may help you in letting go. Take that leap of faith and do not be afraid of the unknown as who knows? It could be the best decision you ever make and you will never know unless you learn how to let go!

So there you have it – my thoughts on letting go and hopefully some advice for helping you let go if needed.

Thank you so much for reading as always guys, I really appreciate it <3

So it’s been two months and this feels really strange. Sitting and writing about why I’ve not been around as much lately and why the blogging went a bit on the quiet side.

So when I first started blogging I was so excited and motivated. It was something I had wanted to do for so many years and I really just wanted my own space to write about life, share my knowledge on mental health and review some of my favourite things.

I finally took the plunge and I loved it – I had so much I wanted to say and really got caught up in it, until I told myself I had to do it every. single. week.

The whole point of me blogging was more about having a blank canvas to just add to whenever I felt like it. I wanted it to be natural and enjoyable and i’ll be honest – I really started to dislike it.

Telling yourself you have to do something every single Sunday – it became more of a chore. I would feel pressure to think of something to talk about and when I did, I would be so stressed on a Sunday making sure it was out on time that the fun got sucked out of it for me and suddenly – it was forced.

Obviously blogging isn’t my job and I work full time around it but trying to juggle a full time job, family, a social life, the gym and planning a wedding became almost impossible so when Ramadan came – I just took the time out and decided it was fine. I needed to do it for me.

I was scared that people reading often would stop following my posts, people would think I had failed just after 6 months of starting blogging and I felt this overbearing pressure that it had to continue. Obviously it wasn’t even just blogging – constantly having to upload things on my Instagram was again, not organic anymore and I was doing it for the wrong reasons.

During Ramadan I had a lot of time to reflect, I stopped posting on Instagram or my blog and suddenly – I felt free (dramatic or what?). But honestly, I just felt that pressure had been lifted because really, I was the only one putting pressure on myself. I suddenly could go out and just enjoy myself, not worry about being home for a certain time to write my last minute blog post because I was too busy through the week and really, I could just breathe.

If you don’t have a blog, you may not understand this – but so much work goes in to it – especially a website. The pictures, updating things, renewing domains and content, advertising it so people read and oh em gee, I really didn’t realise how much time actually goes in to it I guess haha.

So after Ramadan, I still didn’t post – and now it has been 3 weeks but again, I just left it till I was ready. So here I am, on a Sunday I finally have free, just sitting and enjoying writing this blog post with a cuppa at hand in this beautiful heatwave we are having. On so many occasions I missed it but I didn’t write anything because again, I really wanted enough time to write ALL of what I wanted to let out (as you can see from the above – that is A LOT).

Through blogging, I have had encounters with SO many people I never thought I would. The comments I have received have been amazing and people have talked about my writing in such a positive way (I genuinely never thought I wrote well, i’m just rambling here haha – but y’all have made me feel I have a skill I never knew I had). People who I haven’t spoken to for years and years have reached out in response to my posts. I have spoken to strangers about things I never thought I would, people have cried at my posts, girls have shared their personal experiences of marriage and life and I have had the deepest chats about mental health with readers. Hell, people have gone and spent lots of money on treatments because of my reviews! Now THAT for me, is just insane!

I know I am a teeny weeny blogger in the blogging world – but your words of kindness have honestly kept me going and made me feel so special, even when I felt pressure to keep up with it. A few people have messaged me telling me they’ve missed my blogs and that in itself, has made me want to keep blogging.

So from now, there will definitely be more blogging – but I just want to be more relaxed with it. I want to blog often, hopefully not disappear for 2 months again aha – but just as and when it feels right.

I just want to thank every single person that reads my blog posts – honestly it means the absolute world to me. I do this for no gain – just to share a little of me with you guys and to know you’re taking the time out to read my random rambles, makes me so glad I started.

I wanted to be really transparent with this post (as always) and just basically say that sometimes you do feel pressurised to act a certain way or do certain things just to please everyone else – but honestly, look after yourself first. If you are feeling pressured to post often or keep a facade up that’s impacting you – take my advice and take some time out. People who want to stay, will be there to support you no matter what. Putting everything in to perspective from a distance can really make a difference.

Thank you for reading and I will be back again real soon!

Tayybs x

Ramadan Kareem to all my lovelies who are fasting, and for anyone who is not, I hope you are enjoying the May sunshine we are getting because it is making everything so much brighter nowadays!

The other day I was sat chatting with my family and realised, oh em gee it’s the last of everything now. My last Ramadan, Eid, Birthday, New Years etc. at home. Now for normal people this may not be a big deal – but for any brown girl that lives at home till marriage – this is big. The thought that every single event will be so different from next year is really weird and I can’t quite imagine what it will be like yet.

Ramadan is such a special month which helps all Muslims around the world be more appreciative of what they have, reflect on things and grow spiritually closer to their religion. It’s a month where we don’t eat from sunrise till sunset (yes not even water) but it is so much more than that. It’s a month I have more peace in my mind, a month where everything seems to stop and a month where the days seem to have so much more time that you feel you can be more productive and realise just how much time eating takes up haha.

Ramadan for me is all about family. Living at home is what makes it so much more fulfilling for me and for this reason, with it being my last Ramadan at home, I thought it was apt to reflect on what I will miss most.

1. The fried home food.

Okay so we knew this would be up there. Oh dear lord, the thought that next year I won’t be indulging with pakoras, samosas, chaat, rice and many, many more pleasantries is a really scary thought. Haha call me dramatic but ANY Muslim Pakistani knows this is what makes this month that much more great. Obviously i’ll have them when I am home but just mum’s food in general is that much more satisfying when you’ve been starving all day.

2. Telling mum NOT to make fried food for Iftar then shouting at her when she hasn’t.

Haha so after the first few days of all the fried stuff, everyone wants a break. Every year without fail we tell my mum continuously NOT to make us any fried starters for Iftar and then when she actually listens we get so annoyed because it’s all we crave when it’s time to break our fast haha. Soz mum, we’re annoying.

3. Watching Mufti Menk with mum and dad at Sehri.

It’s become tradition in the last few years that we sit and watch an insightful talk from our main man Mufti Menk (love him) whilst having our breakfast. If you’ve not yet watched him I would recommend; he is knowledgeable and motivating but really funny whilst doing so. Anyways, I am going to miss coming down and switching it on whilst we’re all barely awake and can’t be bothered talking to each other. I’m the only one that really comes down and makes an effort (because my brother is lazy) so I think they’ll really miss my presence at sehri too.

4. Aloo Parathay for breakfast.

Parathay for breakfast are great but in Ramadan, they’re even greater. I have fully accepted the fact I probably won’t have a paratha for sehri ever again unless I travel home at 3am because 1. I know my cooking skills will never extend to making them and 2. Nad is way to healthy to allow that to be our morning meal. *cries*

5. Shopping for the month with my mum.

Usually before Ramadan begins, I go shopping with my mum to buy the fruit, spices, meat, dates etc. The shops have nasheeds playing loudly and the hustle and bustle just makes me so excited for Ramadan. Don’t get me wrong – I know there will still be busy shops before Ramadan (lol bit dramatic Tayybs) – but doing it without my mum or not for our house will just be strange.

6. Dad’s annual lecture about watching TV.

Every year before Ramadan starts, my dad gives us a lecture about how we should not watch TV throughout the month and always threatens to take away the Apple TV. When we were younger he would put a cover over the TV so we could not watch it, haha. I guess he’s always just wanted to highlight how special/different this month should be and how we should spend our time wisely. Don’t get me wrong, we always sneak in a TV show here and there but man – I’ll miss having someone telling me not to.

6. Eid morning not at home.

This is a biggy for me and I will fully appreciate it this year because it’s my favourite. The boys coming home from Namaz and waking me up dead early and us all having a big lavish breakfast together before getting ready for the day. It’s one of my FAVOURITE parts of Eid. Although I will inshallah be around, not being at home in my pjs and being woken up by dad/my brother will be strange.

Now if y’all have read that and think I am being dramatic, don’t get me wrong – I think I am too but I guess the small things do really make up the whole month and make it that much more special. Ramadan for me is made so much more special and easier by having people around you and I guess not having the noise, traditions and general presence of my family 24/7 will just be strange. I am sure it will be just as special next year inshallah and we will start our own traditions which will be fab but nothing can take away the feeling of what you’ve been brought up doing.

I pray you all have an amazing month and all your efforts are accepted!

Tayyeba xx

Through experiences we tend to flourish and grow and it seems after some time, we really do learn lessons and become different people to what we once were.

I also feel personally, through some of the tough love and advice I’ve received over my years, I have probably grown just as much and to some extent, this has massively shaped who I now am and my values, as well as what I will and will not stand for.

For this reason, in today’s blog post, I am sharing my favourite advice I’ve received through various trials and life in general, just to spread a little inspiration. I’ve also added a few proverbs which have helped me and really defined how I see things now. Who knows, it may even help you a little with what you may be going through or simply something you could pass on to somebody else 🙂

1. Life is short as it is, why make it hard?

This was said to me by my (sometimes wise) fiance. We were having an absolute paddy over how many guests we’d have at our wedding and he said this – and it just changed everything. Like it is so damn true yet simple. Our time here is SO limited, why make it harder than it needs to be? Try not to argue over things that don’t truly matter or spend time worrying about things you can’t control because fun fact, nobody gets out alive. Enjoy the time you have on this planet and just CHILL THE HECK OUT. (Best bit, I can use it on him if he ever gets annoyed with me loool).

2. When a thing disturbs the peace of your heart, give it up.

MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE. AH, always gives me the feels. I came across this years ago and it completely shaped the way I see things. If something (not just a relationship – anything) makes you sad, upset, hurt, disappointed or just feeling uncomfortable – be courageous enough to LET IT GO. I am writing a blog post on this topic in a few weeks so I’ll just leave you with this for now muhaha.

3. You’ve got to pick your battles.

This one was said to me quite recently by a colleague (who is a therapist and oh so wise) and it has taught me so much. Try not to give your attention to every single thing going wrong and just sometimes (much to my dismay) – you just can’t allow everything to get to you. You have to be selective in what you give your energy to, because in turn, it is what will consume you. If you have a shit load of stuff going on right now – what takes priority? and really, what is worth the agg/attention?

4. Time is a healer.

When you’re going through something and someone says this, it’s really not appreciated right? But looking back at all of life’s difficulties, I can happily say time IS a healer. Yeah you may not get over everything (such as a death of a loved one), but overtime, you learn to accept things, become stronger and overcome the worst times in your life. Stick in there guys, I promise it gets better/easier.

5. If you’ve got nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all.

Some of the MANY wise things my older sister has told me. It is so true though – I am someone who is very sensitive to others needs and would never want to hurt anyone unintentionally but I feel sometimes, people can get their kicks out of making others feel rubbish. If you are ever in a situation where you maybe want to criticise someone or say something which they may not take well to – think if it is really necessary?

6. Will it matter 5 years from now?

We use this in therapy a lot when we challenge people’s thoughts but for nearly every single thing you are stressed about, just think – will it actually matter 5 years from now? Most likely, no. This is something I’ve used a lot myself when worrying about the future or things which genuinely will have no impact in 5 years time. This in itself, may not get rid of the thought/worry/stressor, but it can massively impact how intensely you view it.

7. Always put yourself first, because at the end of the day, nobody is going to save you but yourself.

This is another quote I read once and it is SO true. Always put your needs first. ALWAYS ALWAYS. Be selfish and ensure your mental state is content in any situation, because the sad truth, nobody is in charge of your happiness but you. Never ever depend on anyone else for your happiness and never do something in the best interests of someone else because chances are, they wouldn’t do it for you (lol how depressing – BUT TRUE GUYS). A quote I once read which I love: “Happiness is an inside job, don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.”

8. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

So so so true. When you see someone who’s happy – don’t think about how lucky they are or how they always have it good, because you never quite know what they’re going through. Life and experiences are what you make them. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve got caught in the trap myself a few times when you end up feeling so down and sorry for yourself. But actually, 90% of time, as I’ve said 10000 times already – it’s all down to what you give your energy to and what you make of a situation. If you turn it into a positive thing or take even one good thing from it, you’ve already won.

9. Take every day at a time.

My little wise owl of a bestie gave me this advice when we were like 16 and I was having some child drama (man I wish life was that easy again), but it is one piece of advice I give out most now – take it easy and one day at a time. If you’re going through a life change, calamity, relationship breakdown – take it one. day. at. a. time. I promise you if you’re sole purpose is to make it to the end of the day and be alright – before you know it, time will have passed and you will be fine.

10. Do what you want, they’ll talk anyway.

This is something which is VERY relevant for the Pakistani community. People are so afraid of doing things for fear of what others will say. Whether you do bad or good, they’ll talk anyway so just do what makes you happy and be done with the rest. They’ll be talking about something else by tomorrow!

11. Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes I feel like this one is a bit of a cop out tbh. Like it’s a great one for if things turn out bad or good butttt it is true – every single decision you make has an impact on everything else and most of the time, ends up for the good. Whether it be saving you from something that’s not good for you, showing you someones true colours, or making you more wise, it’s happened for a reason.

12. Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

This is again, one of my all time favourites but lately I think I’ve realised what it actually means. I always saw it as – your tough situation won’t last, but tough/difficult people do – so detach yourself because they won’t change. Make sense? Lately I’ve realised I think it’s trying to say that tough times won’t last, but if you’re tough (strong) you’ll withstand anything and continue to be tough. Not quite sure which one it’s referring to but either way I like it.

13. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?

This is something which has been drilled in to me many times throughout my ~very short~ blogging life. I have SUCH a lack of belief in myself and when you’re putting yourself out there – it’s scary business. However, if I think I can’t or that people won’t like my blog or people won’t want to read – why should they? You NEED to believe in yourself for others to believe in you. One I am still working on.

14. In the end, it will all be alright. And if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

This one is pretty self explanatory, and again, very true. In the end, everything does work out. So just wait, if it’s still not okay, it’s not the end 🙂

Each of these pieces of advice/quotes have helped me through calamities I have been through and just generally helped improve my self confidence and growth. I have gotten better at taking shit from no one and generally being able to cut off from things which don’t feel right. I am so thankful for everyone that continues to give me great advice and honestly (I hate to admit it), I thank the trials for getting me to where I am.

Please let me know of any advice you have been given which has been useful or changed you! I am always wanting to learn!

Until next time,

Tayyeba xx

It’s a really crappy feeling when you have no motivation to do anything. Maybe you’re overworked, going through a difficult time, are feeling overwhelmed or just have a tendency to be lazy. Either way, at some point a lack of motivation can become a big problem and it can leave you feeling depressed and unfulfilled.

I wrote a post about being in a funk a few months ago and I guess this post has a similar goal, but it’s more around making the most of your time and creating a better balance between all of your responsibilities. I thought with exam season fast approaching, it was fitting to talk about it now to get your priorities in order and help you feel more motivated.

Barriers to doing things.

So firstly, we look at what is stopping us from doing the things we need to. Is it that you are working too much? You’re spending too much time procrastinating? You’re spending a lot of time sleeping? etc. Once we have established this – start to think of ways you can break these barriers first, to see if you can do anything yourself before going further. If you’re unsure, here are a couple of tips to help break some barriers before we get stuck in to the proper work. Remember though, do not wait till you feel better to do something – chances are, you ain’t going to feel better – so this starts now.

• Use people around you to help/motivate you.

Can someone phone you in the morning to help you get out of bed? Can you meet a friend to get somewhere? Or tell a family member that you’ve planned something and ask them to check that you have done it later. I literally hate the gym and for me lately – I have started going with a friend so 1. I know I have to do it as I can’t disappoint her and 2. I get to see her. It’s all about improving your motivation by improving associations with what you are doing.

• Start small and manageable.

Do things that are within your reach first before building up to doing bigger things. Tasks should stretch you, but not be totally out of reach.

• 5 minute rule.

This is one of my personal favourites as I think it is so effective! When you’re doing something – promise yourself that if you’re doing it and after 5 minutes you still don’t feel in to it – you can stop. Literally nearly every time, by 5 minutes you’ll have got stuck in to the task so it will be easier to keep going.

• Make a list!

For me, lists are life. They help me keep organised and ensure I don’t forget anything because everything that needs to be done is there. But the main thing – give yourself the satisfaction of ticking that thing off your list!

• Reward yourself after tasks…

This works well for revision – once you’ve done a certain task, reward yourself with watching a tv programme or having 20 minutes to yourself etc. Knowing you will do something for yourself after doing the current task will give you more motivation to complete it!

• Set a period of time to do things.

Again a great one for revising or even managing your workload! Tell yourself – for the next 30 minutes I am going to focus on this and after that I will evaluate where I’m at and do something else. Also, mix it up! Don’t do one thing for 3 hours (this could be in terms of revising or even things like housework), do something, then another task, then back to the first task etc.)

Okay so once you have done the above to help you a little, think about how your week looks. So what I want you to think of is – how much of what you do is necessary, routine and pleasurable?

Routine, necessary and pleasurable activities.

So the reason I asked the above is because what we realise is sometimes we spend so much time doing things that are routine/necessary such as work/school runs/revision etc. we often neglect the latter.

It is incredibly important to keep a balance between these three types of activities because if we are constantly just working and coming home through the week and don’t leave room for things we enjoy – we can end up becoming withdrawn and demotivated. Same with anyone who’s revising. If you are constantly trying to revise and do nothing else, chances are you’ll end up not taking anything in or having motivation to continue.

Routine activities:
Routine activities are things we do daily to make our lives more comfortable i.e. housework, going to the gym, school runs etc.

Necessary activities:
Activities which are essential so we have to do – the longer we leave these, usually the worse the consequences. For example, paying bills, going to work, applying for jobs etc.

Pleasurable activities:
These are activities which make you feel connected to others or yourself, improving your quality of life such as seeing friends, any hobbies you may have, sports etc. In your pleasurable activities maybe even add things you wish to do but haven’t got round to yet. So for example, starting a new hobby or interest etc.

Build a hierarchy.

Once you’ve written your list, make a hierarchy of how difficult they are to achieve (bearing in mind if you’re really demotivated – some of this stuff will be harder to do than others). Put the easiest activities at the bottom and slowly work your way up to what may be harder.

I have included a template here which will make the above make more sense!

Once you’ve done this, plan the next week out. But you have to include some routine, some necessary and some pleasurable activities. I usually have routine and necessary stuff in every day but have at least 3 pleasurable activities in a week – so that’s usually seeing friends and doing things I enjoy. Start with the things that are easier to do from each type of activity then gradually as weeks go in, put in the activities you find harder to do. Ensure your week is structured yet full, but only to what you find capable to do without overdoing it.

If you’re revising – have something pleasurable in every day! Even if it’s something small like watching your fave show on Netflix after 2 hours of work.

Ensure you maintain a balance of what’s necessary, routine and pleasurable because it ensures you are getting stuff done which makes you feel like you’ve accomplished stuff, as well as doing the things you always do, but also doing things which help your personal needs such as socialising/doing things you enjoy.

If you start this and find it hard, slow down – just do what you can. Chances are if you have felt demotivated for a while, it’s going to take time to build up good habits. A little like pushing a broken down car – it takes super strength but eventually – it gets started.

I realised with myself, I at one point was doing too many pleasurable activities in my week, and again – it got overwhelming because I was never home and neglecting things I needed to do. So this approach is all about doing things in moderation.

For example, my past week is a real good example of how I used this approach to balance my responsibilities and feel fulfilled by Sunday. I had to go to work everyday obviously, and had odd jobs like cleaning my room, doing the food shop etc. These were all routine. Following this, I had to pay my makeup artist and videographer deposits (yes, they’re booked!), work out my monthly budget (check this post to see what this is about!), and go to the gym – these were necessary. And then I saw my friend Abi, went to Nadeems and went to the gym with my friend Kiran and out to eat that night too, these were pleasurable.

I scheduled them all in across the week so I did my necessary stuff that I knew i’d put off if I had to do them then and there, but also made some necessary stuff fun by doing it with my friend (the gym). And just like that, it is now Sunday and I feel like I’ve had a good week.

Then just continue with it, continue to challenge yourself and add more and more activities which help you feel good about yourself to ensure you’re making the most of your time. Next week I have set aside some time to start journaling. This is something I wanted to try which was new and it would be classed as a pleasurable activity as it’s for me.

I hope this all makes sense and if you want some further information on it, just type behavioural activation in to google and you’ll get a tonne of stuff on it – it’s a technique we use often to help people who are demotivated and it’s so simple, yet can work wonders as we really don’t realise how much we can neglect things when feeling stressed/low.

I hope you feel a little motivated after reading this and start to make small changes to help yourself build up better habits.

Hoping you all have a fulfilling week ahead!

Tayyeba xx

And just like that, the countdown begins.

I won’t lie, I never thought I would get here – within the one year mark. Getting engaged seems like a distant memory and it has taken us so long to get here that it almost doesn’t feel real – but rest assured, it is. I have heard the year before your wedding FLIES by though so I’m not sure how I feel about that but inshallah I am excited yet scared for what’s to come!

I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to achieve from tonight’s blog post but I just knew it was a special moment for me and I wanted to have a little catch up. So to give me some inspiration, I put on a Bollywood playlist (Teri Ore playing currently) and it’s totally got me in the mood to talk all things wedding and has made me feel all fuzzy inside.

Where we are at…

So we have booked the venue! And that’s about it! (Lol). It took us a while to pick the venue as we wanted something a bit different, but also accessible for us both as we live an hour away from one another, but also what we both liked and hey – we finally agreed on something! (a rarity I have realised once we started planning a wedding lol). When we went to visit it, I saw Nadeem snapping pictures on his phone and I just knew – he liked it, this made me like it more and now – we just love it. Ah.

This week I finally bought my wedding planner (it’s not here yet) and I feel this is when everything can ACTUALLY start. I am such a pen and paper kinda girl so when I get it I know I’ll get so excited to make all my lists with all my different coloured pens and get organising inshallah!

I have also been stalking MUAS on Instagram to get some inspiration and I think I’ve decided what kind of look I want (don’t worry – it’s all to come iA) but i’m just yet to find the artist! If you know of anyone you think is good and willing to travel – please do message me! 🙂 I know i’m on a bit of a time crunch as we are getting married on Easter weekend so it will be busy!

What the year will bring…

Probably a lot of tears haha. But honestly – I am excited to start planning. I think after Ramadan will be the right time to fully immerse myself in to the planning and we will start looking at photographers, caterers, decor companies etc. I will inshallah visit Pakistan at the end of the year to go wedding shopping with my family WHICH I AM SO EXCITED FOR (probably more than my wedding tbh) and I can’t wait to see my cousins and go to Liberty every night and shout at tailors and do dance practise and the lot of it – by far my favourite part of any Zeb wedding process.

Alongside wedding prep we are also looking for a house iA which is exciting! I won’t lie I really enjoy house hunting – I think it just adds to the whole building your lives together experience.

I am MUCH more relaxed than I thought I would be, and I think it’s partly because it took us so long to get to this point that I just think I want to enjoy the process and take it easy. I’m sure now that we are getting into the year before though – the stress levels will start rising.

And that’s really all for now. I just wanted a quick check in I guess, as I did promise to do some wedding related stuff on here. Inshallah as we start planning, there will be more to share – but I also want to savour some of the memories for us guys as it should inshallah be such a special time.

Thank you for reading and I hope you feel a little updated. I just request one last thing from you guys which is so important to me – please keep us in your duas (prayers). It would mean the world to us <3

Until next week!
xxx

Hey everybody, I hope you’re all doing well.

So today’s blog post is all about what I wore in Greece – but with limited clothing. I packed the night before at like 12am and when I got there I realised – I had literally packed one pair of trousers, some culottes and a dress. Everything was pretty much stripey or blue and I didn’t think i’d be able to get creative with what I had, but I think I did an okay job – hence me sharing on here 🙂

We visited Corfu in Greece and I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. It was such a stunning place with some real hidden gems and because it was off season, we had most of the places to ourselves when we visited!

Before I start this lookbook – you need to know two things about me. 1. I really do not class myself as a fashionable person. Yeah I own some nice things and try to keep up with trends but i’m not very creative with my style like some people and am much more a ‘comfort over style’ kinda girl. 2. For holidays, I mostly shop at New Look and Primark. I feel they do the best things which are comfortable and cute and usually at a good price too. As I know I won’t usually wear my holiday clothes when I’m back in rainy England – there’s no point spending a fortune in my opinion.

Also, with ALL the New Look stuff I am wearing below – I shopped in their sale just at the end of summer and they have the best sales. ALSO, NOTHING IN THIS BLOG POST IS OVER £10.

Day 1.

Shirt and Trousers: New Look
Sandals: Primark

I literally found these trousers in my drawer when I was packing and I must have forgotten I had them as they still had the tags on! Albeit a little see through (as white always is!), they were so comfortable and became my most worn item on holiday.  Best part, they were only a TENNER.

Day 2.

Dress: Primark
Sandals: New Look

I got this dress just a week before my holiday and thought it was perfect as it was long enough to not have to wear anything underneath but still was airy in case it was quite warm.

Day 3.

Shirt: Topshop Skirt: Urban Outfitters
Sandals: New Look

Believe it or not, my sister wore this EXACT outfit around 5 years ago and I have always loved it. Her skirt didn’t fit her anymore (much to my happiness) so I stole it and recreated her look as it is still such an effortless, on trend outfit 5 years later.

I told you I stole her look! (Nim 5 years ago aha)

Day 4.

Top: SheIn Trousers: New Look
Sandals: New Look
Cross Body Bag: (Bought from Greece)

These sandals are literally one of my best investments. I got them for Thailand for £7 (Again, THAT New Look sale) and they are so comfortable.

Day 5.

T Shirt: New Look
Culottes: Primark
Converse: Schuh
Cross Body Bag: (Bought from Greece)

We were visiting a mountain this day so I thought I’d dress a little more comfortable. This outfit was so airy and comfy – perfect for this day!

Day 6.

Whole outfit: New Look

So there you have it, my Greece wardrobe! I hope it has given you a little inspiration for some holiday outfits! This was my first time doing a fashion post so I hope you enjoyed it! I will leave you with a few more pictures because we took LOTS as it was SUCH a picturesque island! Until next time guys xx

So if there’s anything you should know about me, it is that I LOVE tea. It is very British of me but I just feel after a good, hot cup of tea you can be transported to this parallel universe of comfort and happiness – there’s nothing quite like it haha. So afternoon tea for me is one of my favourite things to do and when I saw the high tea at Grand Pacific – it looked delicious and I knew I HAD to try it!

So apparently high tea is different from afternoon tea as it was originally brought about (in like the 19th century) as more of an evening, supper type meal that people had after work whereas afternoon tea is more sandwiches and scones as a late afternoon meal. High tea usually consisted of heartier dishes which were more than just tea and cakes as workers needed this after a long day of hard labour. Lol okay – history lesson over.

The place.

Firstly guys, this place is so lavish. By far one of the prettiest places I have EVER visited. The decor is gorgeous and everything about this place is just so grand. I took a few snaps but they don’t do it justice – it was beautiful.

The service.

So when we first arrived nobody was at the reception area so we made our way upstairs and waited at the bar and nobody really approached us. I asked one of the barmen if we could be seated (we had a reservation) so he went and checked and said that they would be with us in two minutes. Literally a minute after us two other people came in and a waitress came and seated them straight away – I was so pissed off. I waited a few minutes then actively went and asked if we could be seated – they could sense I was annoyed – so they sat us down and the waiter apologised for the miscommunication and not seating us sooner. They attended to our needs and changed our tea when there was a mix up and I’d say overall the service was good –  not amazing, but good.

The food.

We asked for the Pescatarian option as their meat was not halal and they brought out the sweet and savoury options out separate which was nice because it gave a nice break in between courses rather than feeling like you had to have  it all at once.

Savoury options:
So for the savoury option we had crumpet With Cornish crab butter, Forbidden rice Arancini with goat’s cheese, Salmon & Tuna Lomi, Smoked Salmon Potato Cake, Egg & Mustard Cress Sandwich (lots of these as we couldn’t have the chicken sandwiches) and Eccles Cake With Creamy Lancashire Cheese.

The Arancini was really good – they were basically these crispy riceballs – I had these with the salmon and tuna Lomi (which is basically a Hawaiian side dish) as a dip on top of it. This was my favourite part of the tea and it was real tasty. I found the crumpet quite standard but the crab butter wasn’t for me and I personally did not like the consistency of the salmon potato cake – it was all slimy and I just could not take it haha. I didn’t like the fact they had Eccles cake in the savoury section as it was sweet and didn’t go with  the rest of the tea.

Sweet options:
So for the sweet tea we had Mango & Passion Fruit Brûlée, Jasmine Tea Bread With Rose Jelly & Cream, Lamington Lollipops, Mini Pavlova and a fruit salad. We couldn’t have their sherry trifle or chocolate truffle as they contained alcohol. We were apparently meant to get lemon tart in the high tea too but we weren’t provided with this.

I always feel like when I go for afternoon tea the place either does better at the sweet or savoury and I feel with  Grand Pacific – it was maybe the savoury? I just feel the sweet options were a bit basic and I don’t like fruit cake so I didn’t really eat a lot of the things. The passion fruit was so good though – I have never had it before and LOVED it.

The tea:
I always get English Breakfast when I go for afternoon tea (I know – so boring right?) but my friend got Mango and Passion fruit tea and we were expecting it to be really sweet and tasty but it was SO bitter and terrible haha. Even after two sugars it tasted like washing up liquid so yes – always stick to English breakfast, you can’t go wrong.

Overall…

Overall, I think I would rate this place a 7.5/10 in terms of service and food. I think compared to some afternoon tea places it was quite nice but I feel they could have had some better substitutes in place if you could not have the meat/alcohol options. The place overall was so beautiful and I would definitely go again for dinner maybe but I think for high tea – it’s nice and a lovely experience, but I have had better.